My Lord and My God!

Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!"

John 20:28 (NIV)

Thomas wasn't there when the other disciples first saw Jesus after His resurrection. They told him about it it and he was skeptical. And then boom, Jesus appeared again and Thomas believed. Actually, it was a week later. A week later. Just one more time for emphasis. A week later. Can you imagine what Thomas must have been feeling during that week. All of these other folks that Thomas had been close to for the years of Jesus' ministry had seen Jesus in the flesh after the resurrection. He hadn't. Whatever it was the Thomas had been doing that day when he wasn't there with the other disciples must not have seen as important now. The other disciples had seen Jesus alive and he hadn't. If I had been in his position my skepticism at first would have turned into doubt which after a week probably would have turned into utter despair. Thomas may have felt confident with his skepticism at first, but a week later he may have felt like Charlie Brown on the ground after Lucy pulled the football away from him. AUGH! Perhaps he was thinking "Why has everyone else had this blessing and I have not? What's wrong with me?" So, he stuck close to the other disciples. If Jesus appeared again, he wasn't going to miss it. They were togehter in the room. The doors were locked. Jesus appeared. Jesus looked at Thomas and spoke to him. He knew the skepticism and doubt. Come on, stick your finger in there. It's really me! After a week of hungering to see Jesus again, the doubt had vanished. After a week of longing to see Jesus again, there He was. After a week of doubt and despair, Thomas' hope was realized. I can imagine that Thomas didn't just say those words once. I can imagine that he bowed before Jesus repeating over and over "My Lord and my God. My Lord and my God. My Lord and my God." I can imagine that Thomas was weeping tears of joy as He did so. "My Lord and my God. My Lord and my God."

I find it easy to put myself in Thomas' shoes. Why has everyone else around me gotten this blessing and I haven't? I can feel the skepticism, doubt, and despair. I can feel the longing to really see Jesus. I can feel the fear. I can feel the pain. But there Jesus is. I can feel the peace. I too bow and worship. My Lord and my God. My Lord and my God. My Lord and my God.